Lifestyles Of The Time Lords And The Earthlings
by Wetfish
Summary: It's Live 8 '05 and Rose Tyler has dragged The Doctor and Cap'in Jack along to the Japan Concert where they meet a rather famous American rock band..
1. Tokyo, Planet or Place?

Lifestyles Of The Time Lords And The Earthlings

It's Saturday 2nd July 2005; AKA LIVE EIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHT! And The Doctor, Captain Jack Harkness and Rose Tyler have decided to go to Japan and watch the concert. Includes special appearances from Bob Geldof, Good Charlotte, McFly and others.

Dedicated To: Lunar and Kat for writing their FRIGGIN' AWESOME FANFICS!

Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who, Good Charlotte, Live 8 or anything related to them. But I do own this story.

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"Call that music! It's just noise!"

"That's what I said when you put on that ridiculous Earth music. What was it again- BAD WOLF?"

"Good Charlotte. Duh!"

"Good Charlotte duh? What kind of a name is that for a band?"

"What kind of a name is Gallifreyan Philharmonics?"

"Erm, a damn good name!"

"Whatever."

This argument was a familiar one aboard the TARDIS between Time Lord known as 'The Doctor' and Earthling known as 'Rose Tyler'. The first time, it had been over one of Rose Tyler's favourite Earth Bands, Good Charlotte. Now it reappeared when 'Gallifrey Viva Forever' began to blare into the TARDIS control room from the in-spaceship CD player.

"Hey, Rose, I remembered! I can dance!" an insane grin swept across the Doctor's face and he demonstrated a few quick paced tap-dance style steps.

"I know." Rose yawned, running a hand through her dirty-blonde hair and disappearing down the corridor towards her makeshift bedroom to change out of her Winnie The Pooh pyjamas and into something more appropriate for travelling space and time. The leather-jacket wearing Time Lord continued to press buttons on the TARDIS control panel and occasionally shift leavers and singing along (badly) to the CD. Halfway through The Doctor's favourite song, 'I'm A Little Teapot', the intercom crackled and an Irish Earthling's voice boomed into the TARDIS.

"Hello. I'm Bob Geldof, and I'm organising the greatest show on Earth on July 2nd 2005- Live 8! Ten concerts, all around the world, to raise awareness and send our message to World Leaders meeting for G8 summit this week. Remember, we don't want your money, we want you!" the broadcast ended and the music started up again. The Doctor blinked several times as Rose rushed back into the control room.

"We are going to Japan!" she ordered, now wearing black jeans, a t-shirt with the Live8 logo upon it and her trademark red sweatshirt.

"I've always loved that planet." The doctor nodded. "A bit chilly though, and its overrun by creatures called Poke'mon."

"The country!" Rose slapped the Doctor around the back of his thinly haired head. "Set course for Tokyo, Japan, Asia, Earth, Saturday 2nd July, 2005."

"Now hang on Rose!" the Doctor couldn't help but laugh. "I was going to take you to Barcelona- the planet where dogs have no noses!"

"How do they smell?" it was then that another entered the control room. A tall, broad rather 'handsome' American figure wearing a tight white t-shirt and black trousers with a cheesy grin plastered across his face. It was none other than Captain Jack Harkness, recently picked up from 1940s London.

"Terrible!" The doctor replied, and the pair cracked up laughing whilst Rose groaned and stood hands on her hips impatiently.

"I want to go to Japan! It's Live 8!"

"Why Japan?" Jack asked, after recovering from his fits of laughter.

"Oh, no reason." Rose replied quickly, her eyes darting back and forth nervously.

"We haven't got tickets." The Doctor replied. "Sorry and all but-"

"Sorted!" Rose produced her mobile phone. "We've won three tickets. Where the TARDIS fails, Rose succeeds."

"You're hurting its feelings." The Doctor defended his spaceship. "And the TARDIS never fails. Much."

"Whatever." Rose sighed. "We need to pick up the tickets. Set course for Japan!"

"Right on! I love that planet!" Captain Jack punched the air.

Rose sighed. It was going to be a long millennium.

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"I want ice cream!"

"Hey, if he gets ice cream, I want ice cream too!"

"Shut up, the pair of you!"

Keeping order amongst two unruly yet fully grown men was proving difficult for Rose. She was in the queue for ticket collection two minutes after ordering The Doctor to take her to Tokyo. Unfortunately, the TARDIS could not skip queues and now Rose, The Doctor and Captain Jack found themselves in a sea of music-hungry screaming Earthlings. Well, Rose assumed they were. The Doctor made a scene when he saw the queue involving his sonic screwdriver and a security guard. Rose had managed to intervene before they killed each other and she got banned from the concert. And then Jack had wanted to go to the toilet. That had taken long enough- finding the porta-loos. Everyone in the queue had been issued a number- Rose was number 1039. She heard the intercom go- "WILL NUMBER 50 PLEASE COLLECT THEIR TICKETS FROM DESK 1!" and let out of a sigh of frustration.

"Rose; I'm taking Jack to get beer." The Doctor informed the nineteen-year old. "He's sobering up!"

It was true. Captain Jack was looking remarkably sensible. He was also flirting with a Japanese girl, which was difficult seen, as the only thing he could say in Japanese was 'my dog is cute'. However, The Doctor, whom spoke many languages and dialects, spoke perfect Japanese and had 'translated' some of Jack's speech already, but all that had happened was that Jack had been slapped and the disgruntled girl had stomped off. The Doctor nodded sympathetically when after the ninth slap, Jack began to think it was his fault. The Last Time Lord was overwhelmed with smug satisfaction.

"Alright. But hurry up. The concert starts in an hour."

"It'll take me longer than that to find the exit." The Doctor laughed for some reason, grabbing Jack by the scruff of his neck and dragging him away from the girls.

"There's a time and place." He reminded the American.

Rose laughed as she watched them fade out of sight down the queue, before looking at the digital ticket display, which informed her that number 12, had only just been called. Raising her left hand, she made a rather rude hand gesture at the device, but everyone surrounding her was too preoccupied to notice one little British girl "sticking it to the man".

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Thanks for reading. New chapter on the way. Review and I will give you a squeaky Dalek. Flame and you will be exterminated by a squeaky Dalek. 


	2. Various Heads and TV Shows

Thank'ee to all that read and reviewed before. Sorry this took a while to do. throws squeaky daleks at reviewers Enjoy!

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The atmosphere was amazing…music was pounding from the huge speakers and the current set enthralled the crowds. The sound of the bass and the drums could be heard for miles around.

Rose Tyler knew this because she was still stood in the queue on her own waiting to collect her tickets and could hear and imagine it all. The Doctor and Captain Jack had disappeared- probably to find a nice garden to be sick in after going on a quest for alcohol just over three hours ago. Now, Rose was 'thrilled' to find out that number three hundred was collecting a family pass. Two hours in, and all she could hear was 'All About You' muffled but still audible from the concert venue, and arguing families. Running a hand through her blonde hair for the fiftieth time and glancing at her watch (which was little good due to the fact it had stopped ever since she first travelled in the TARDIS. The Doctor had offered to fix it, but Rose had seen some of the Doctor's 'fixed' watches and politely declined.)

As she moved less than a millionth of a millimetre closer to her ticket, the Doctor's Assistant thought she heard someone call her name. Turning around, Rose answered; "What?" thinking it was The Doctor or Jack, but the angry-looking Frenchman behind her simply replied with a rude French noun. Rose stuck her tongue out and turned back. As she did so, someone else caught her eye. Squinting slightly, she could make out a figure about her height, whom appeared to be waving. As she tried to concentrate there was a lapse in the line and Rose was jolted forward. When she looked up, the 'person' was nowhere to be seen. Sighing, she rubbed her eyes.

"And now I'm seeing things. Great." The young woman muttered.

"Not to mention talking to yourself." A man in front with an Indian accent put in without turning.

Rose rolled her eyes and concentrated on trying not to fall asleep. It appeared several others had fallen asleep standing, whilst the unfortunates couldn't stand the wait and merely collapsed. Luckily, there was trained security by the name of SRS (Sleepers Removal Squad) on hand to dispose of any 'line-droppers' as Rose had nicknamed them (well, if you had three hours of sheer boredom to stand, what you do instead?). As the SRS moved in to collect the Indian man aforementioned that had collapsed in what Rose thought an act of God for sheer cheek, the mysterious head appeared again, but closer. Rose looked harder and noted black, short hair and black clothing for that was all she could make out.

'Why did Jack have to choose this day to borrow the binoculars?' Rose asked herself, before the voice of Jack popped into her head with 'Bird Watching' followed by the Doctor's 'Time and Place for everything' speech. Rose smirked, replaying the conversation her head. She was beginning to miss them, though not quite as much as 'Mister Snooglepoof'- her stuffed toy pig. Admittedly, life in Time and Space would have been quieter with Snoogles.

"NUMBER 600 PLEASE!"

Three hours later, and no sign of 'the boys' or the vanishing head. Rose was now losing her sanity at a rapid rate. The ambulance crew wandering around in addition to the SRS was also off-putting. It appeared a soup kitchen had been set up for 'those of hungry stomach', and it appeared the port a loos were overrun with 'those of little bladder strength'. To avoid completely doing her nut and murdering someone with her trainers, Rose was counting the number of people been carted off in wheelbarrows by SRS officials. This was an increasingly difficult game to play because of the SRS attendants that also appeared to be randomly passing out and those didn't count for any points.

As she continued to count, there it was again- the head. Jerking her own head up so fast she nearly received whiplash, Rose finally was able to note who this person was.

"You!" she squealed as the head approached, with a body inevitably attached.

"Er, yeah." The 'head' replied. "You what exactly?"

Rose realized that she just sounded like a complete wazzock and rephrased.

"I mean..Benji from Good Charlotte…" she grinned sheepishly.

"Yes, me." Benji continued.

This short-lived doomed-from-the-start conversation was then rekindled with the immortal (yet unexpected) words;

"Can I have an autograph?"

"What?" Rose spluttered.

"You're that girl from Doctor Who." Benji reminded her. "I want an autograph. Sign my guitar?"

He held up the guitar that had previously been slung over his shoulder and Rose looked slightly shocked.

"What's Doctor Who?" she asked. "How do you know the Doctor?"

"I don't know him stupid; he's not real." Benji rolled his eyes. "I watch the TV show. You should know. You're in it!"

It appeared this day was not going to get any weirder.

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Reviews appriciated. I still have plenty of squeaky daleks!


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